Episode 8: Being the third party observer

Following our discussion on toxic relationships, being in this situation is difficult. Being the friend that observes a toxic relationship is also a hard place to be in. On this week’s episode, I bring in Katie, who helps me discuss the difficulties of being friends with someone who does not see what is wrong with their relationship, no matter how many times we tell them.

As someone’s friend, we want to be there for them, support them, and help them no matter the circumstance. However, that in itself is a stressful position to be in. We discuss our different situations where we’ve had to deal with friends who didn’t see the toxic patterns as well as dealing with biases towards friends when in reality there are two stories to a relationship. The best way to handle being the third party observer, is help your friend by not just agreeing with them, but helping them see from the other person’s perspective. It is an important role to be the friend of a couple, because you have insight on the entire relationship, not just the one side and you have the ability to see both sides, rather than just one.

Later, we discuss the term “ghosting” – when two people are in a mutual understanding that they are in a relationship and then suddenly one person just disappears and does not respond to calls, texts, nothing. With no reason given for the dismissal and even when they see each other, the ghoster does not even acknowledge the other. Just have the courage to be honest to yourself and the other person. Nobody deserves no explanation and to leave someone hanging is just cruel. Another issue we talk about is the topic of leading people on…this happens a lot unfortunately and we try to analyze why people do this.

Check out the Soundcloud for the most recent episodes and tune in Tuesdays from 4-5p on 88.9 fm or stream online at kuci.org!

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