Imagine this scenario: you’re at a party, there’s lots of people and in this crowd, and your eye falls on someone who you want to talk to. You muster up the courage, whether it be from liquid courage or friends hyping you up, and you go up to them and say hi. What’s your next question?
More often then not, we opt out for basic questions like, “what’s your name” or “what are you studying” (if you’re a student) or “what do you do” (if you’re out of school). While these questions are fine, they’re a little boring and have high risk of being a dead end conversation. So how do we spice it up? Are you going to go for an ice breaker type question? Perhaps a more thought-provoking question? Pretty much what I’m getting at is this: how do we avoid small talk and make big talk in order to get to know someone beneath the surface?
On this episode, I have my intern, Martin, come on and we discuss this phenomenon of small talk and how we start them. Martin argues that it is much easier to strike up a conversation when it is online because it allows you to avoid awkward small talk in person and it allows you to make a deeper connection with someone as you have access to their profiles via Facebook, Snapchat, etc. So naturally, I argued that talking in-person is a much better way of learning about someone because you can see their reactions, see their emotions, and hear their voice. Last thing I’ll leave here is this, whether or not you think you’re an awkward person, the best way to get over your fears is to do it. If you think you can’t make conversation with someone new in class or at a party, this is not true. All it takes, is some confidence and knowing that it’s okay to get rejected. Everyone goes through this and it just makes your stronger.
Check out this video and see an inspiring talk on how to make conversations with people: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4Zu5ZZAG7I
Tune-spiration: Small Talk by Masego