Episode 50: Exes who are friends

Is it possible to be friends with your exes? Always easier said than done, it’s a tricky situation figuring out how to be friends with someone you previously dated. I brought on Miguel to help me tackle this and he explains how he has been able to stay friends with his exes.

While it’s definitely possible, how you go about it requires time and patience. It’s never easy ending a relationship, but when you want to keep this person in your life, it’s a new kind of relationship and you have to make sure both of you are on the same page. Miguel admits while he is friends with some of his exes, he is not with others and it’s important not to force a friendship when something is just no longer there.

I believe that while the length of time a couple dated is a factor, it is not as important as the depth of the relationship and whether or not the couple were friends before dating. The most important thing to remember however, is to have patience. Everything takes some time and even though you may not be immediately friends after, if you’re patient and you put in some effort with communication, it is definitely possible.

For more Where’s The Chase, tune in every Tuesday from 4-5pm on 88.9 fm, stream online at www.kuci.org, or download the KUCI app.

Tune-spiration: Time Will Tell by Blood Orange

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 49: My kind of person

After spending time in the dating scene, you start to see a pattern in the type of people you date. Perhaps, you’re drawn to a certain type of person. Let’s talk about it.

Pam explained to me what kind of person she normally is drawn to and noticed similarities between the people she has dated in the past. Whether the person is her type or not, she’s noticed that the main thing she looks for is someone who understands her love of music. Whether or not they are your “type” you should always make sure both of your interests align because a relationship is not only based on communication but also being able to do things together.

It’s okay to have a level of expectation; we all need to have some standard. Always make sure your needs are being met by the person you decide to date and that you can do things together that enhance the relationship.

Check out the latest episode on Soundcloud! For your weekly dose of Where’s The Chase? tune in every Tuesday from 4-4:30pm on 88.9 fm, stream online at www.kuci.org, or get the KUCI app!

Tune-spiration: Treat Me Like Fire by Lion Babe

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 48: We found love in a hopeless place

It’s rare you hear success stories out of Tinder and it almost makes you think it’s just not possible, but it is.

On this episode, I brought in May and Saahil to discuss their experiences using Tinder. May met her boyfriend of two years using the app and admits that she was surprised she was able to make a lasting relationship out of it. Considering she had been using the app for quite some time and had been on numerous dates, it almost just became a routine for her: match with a guy, send a few messages, go on a date (or a couple more), things would fizzle out, and then repeat. So when she matched with her boyfriend, the same process was expected, but then they kept dating. And soon enough they had the talk of what they were and two years later, they’re still going strong.

Stories like May and her boyfriend are definitely one of the rare few, especially since many who use the app tend to be more than skeptical about really meeting their future significant others. Saahil believes that while the app is a great way to meet people, he hasn’t ever met anyone really substantial or standout and therefor deemed it not really for him. And there are many people who feel this way and much prefer to meet organically in person.

Whether or not it works for you, everyone has their own way of how they want to date. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc. are merely tools that help out people to meet others quicker and easier but does not necessarily rule the entire dating game. So ride on friends, that someone is out there and to quote How I Met Your Mother, “I know that you are tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.”

Tune-spiration: Anyone Can Fall In Love by Kindness

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 47: It’s not you, it’s me

It’s late at night and you’ve entered the Facebook creeping hour. You begin on one person which leads to the next and then suddenly you’re on your ex’s profile. But you’ve just realized you can’t see any of their posts…because they unfriended you. WHAT THE FUCK??

There could be many reasons for this. In situation A, it’s being on the receiving end and it’s a punch to the gut when you’ve realized your ex has unfriended you. In situation B, it’s  step out of necessity to let go of someone and move on. In situation C, it’s due to the start of a new relationship. I brought in Jeremy to discuss his thoughts and he shared with us his own personal story of his reasons for un-friending someone on Facebook. In his case, he was situation C, where he needed to let go of a friend in order to have complete trust in the start of his budding relationship with his currently girlfriend of 5 years.

I think in today’s day and age, it’s inevitable that relationships will come to an end, whether it is romantic or platonic. This act of un-friending should ultimately not be taken too seriously because it’s not like two people can never be friends again. What I’ve come to realize is anything online can be made to be more dramatic than it really is. So if you’ve unfriended someone or someone unfriended you, it’s okay. Just remember, there was a reason why things didn’t work out and maybe in the future, something can be rekindled. But for now, just let it be.

Be sure to tune in every week on Tuesday from 4-4:30p on 88.9 FM, stream online at www.kuci.org, or get the KUCI app. For more episodes, check out the Soundcloud and catch previous week’s shows.

Tune-spiration: Deliverance by Rationale

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 46: I want a love like that

As a kid, I watched movies religiously. At one point, when my grandma was visiting for a summer, she questioned my daily routine of going home from summer school, grabbing a baguette and eating it while watching yet another Disney movie.

On this episode, I brought on Sadra to talk celebrity crushes, influential movies, and ultimately what we are looking for in a partner. Watching movies is like watching another kind of reality, a reality that we know is not real, but wish it could be. In the best way possible, it’s the ideal version we would hope our lives could be like. But sadly, it cannot be. I know that sounds negative, but it’s only just to show that our expectations shouldn’t be so high. Sadra brought up how he could relate to characters in movies, such as Peter Parker in Spiderman and his love interest, Mary Jane.

Now how do we translate from on-screen to off-screen? Sadra mentions that he looks for potential in someone by looking for complimentary traits to his traits that he likes the most. It’s more about how their on-screen relationship compliments one another that he seeks for in his own personal relationships. Like a team or a partnership, you want to look for someone who has a good dynamic with you and compliments your personality. I want to liken it to two puzzle pieces fitting together. Two people that can hold their own but when they come together, it harmonizes in a way that makes you both stronger.

To stay up to date with the latest episode, be sure to tune in every Tuesday from 4-4:30p on 88.9 fm, stream online at http://www.kuci.org, or download the KUCI app. You can also check out the Soundcloud to hear previous episodes.

Tune-spiration: Love Like That by Mayer Hawthorne

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 45: Omg, did I really write that?

Remember your first crush? Remember how instead of going up to them and having a real conversation with them, you would instead go home and write 10 pages about why you like them and then question every thing you’ve ever done in your life?

Ok, I’m being dramatic but that is how I felt as a youngling and I just never had the courage to say anything in person; so the next best thing was my diary. Inspired by The Mortified Podcast, where people read their adolescent diary entries in front of a group of strangers, I brought on Priscilla to talk about our childhood woes and of our long lost crushes that we discussed in great depth with none other than our journals.

But why do you think we resort to these pages versus having real life interactions? After having this discussion with Priscilla, I’ve narrowed it down to this: it’s a form of therapy. When we’re pent up with all of these feelings, not only are we trying to navigate our angst and our pre-teen ways, but we’re also just trying to understand ourselves without sounding crazy by telling someone who has ears. We also tackle how we used to approach crushes and compare to how we approach them now. We pretty much discovered it’s all the same but with just a little more social media.

Whether or not you still write in your journals (I sometimes still do), there’s no shame in spilling your heart out. Sometimes you just gotta let the words flow and when you look back, maybe you’ll cringe, maybe you’ll laugh, or maybe you’ll realize we all have something to say.

For more episodes, check out the Soundcloud and be sure to tune in every week on Tuesday from 4-4:30p on 88.9 FM, stream online at www.kuci.org, or get the KUCI app!

Tune-spiration: Shame by Desta French

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 44: Balance of standards and expectations

Is there such a thing as the ideal person? Probably not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have standards. I bring on Leslie and Shay to talk about this conundrum of people who think they are being too “selective” in who they date.

While we both agree that having standards is something everyone should have, we also agree that it’s important to be open and make sure we have a balance of standards and expectations. Especially for my singletons out there, it’s hard in this dating world to really meet someone you truly feel connected to, so why waste time. How I see it, if you want to date, go for it. But if you don’t, there shouldn’t be any pressure to do so.

On another note, you should be selective, especially if you are with someone; you want to be with someone who will make your needs a priority and vice versa. Finding a partner who will be there for the big events and the little occasions is important.

To sum up, it’s important to keep a balanced mindset. Don’t go into anything with too much expectation because that will more often than not end with disappointment. Keep  your standards straight and know your worth.

For more episodes and to stay updated with the latest episode, check out the Soundcloud every week! If you’re in the OC area, tune in at 88.9 FM every Tuesday from 4-4:30p, otherwise, stream online via www.kuci.org or download the KUCI app and be on-the-go!

Tune-spiration: Tease Me by Lianne La Havas

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 43: Sometimes ya just know

On this episode, I brought on Spartacus to tell the story of how he met his girlfriend of three years, Stacey, and how he knew their relationship felt right. From the same taste in music to their love for all things Disney, the two were a match.

I think that some relationships are not meant to work out for a reason. And we should not look back with regret, but rather a better understanding of who you’ve become after. You learn about yourself in every relationship, regardless of how things turn out. For Sparticus, he knew his previous relationship didn’t work out because the two ultimately were just not right. And even though his relationship with Stacey has its ups and downs, the two are able to make it work and push through the hardships, including the ultimate test: long distance.

Sometimes ya just know when it feels right. Maybe it’s just the timing, you just happen to be at the right time and the right place, but when you’re with someone, you can just feel it. It’s hard to put into words, but keep an eye out for that feeling.

For more episodes, check out the Soundcloud for the most recent show. Be sure to tune in every Tuesday from 4-4:30p on 88.9 FM, stream online at www.kuci.org, or get the KUCI app!

Tune-spiration: Any Time, Any Place (Cover) by Natalie Prass

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 42: Just do it

When do you know it is the “right time”? Sometimes you just feel it, other times, you have to take time to reflect and think. On this episode, I was happy to bring in Christina once again, and she shared with us her journey of where she is today.

Having not been in a relationship in over four years, she now feels she is ready for a long term commitment. While she’s not sure with who, she knows for a fact that she is in a good time in her life to do so. But getting to this point took some time and a lot of reflection. We discussed what she observed from her friends relationships and now she knows what she wants and what she doesn’t want in a relationship.

In my opinion, one of the most important things to keep in mind before going into any relationship, is being aware of yourself and knowing who you are and what you want. The point of a relationship is to come together as two individuals and creating a harmonious relationship. Of course, that requires work and patience, but when you have two people working together and not just one person ruling the relationship, it could lead to something great.

If you’d like to stay up to date with the most recent episode, check out the Soundcloud for the latest episodes. Be sure to tune in every Tuesday from 4-4:30 PM at 88.9 FM, stream online at www.kuci.org, or get the KUCI App!

Tune-spiration: What’s It Gonna Be? by Shura

Cheers,

Lili

Episode 41: Ya win some, ya lose some

Ever feel like you just barely missed someone who could have been the one? Maybe you guys had just been in the same place a week apart or met someone with only a limited amount of time to spend with them. Whatever situation it may be, I’m here to tell you: I know the feels.

I brought in TJ on this episode to discuss those “missed” opportunities with people who we think could have been special. He shares with us his story about this girl who he had been admiring from afar on social media. To simply put, they were kind of a match-made in heaven; they like the same music, they had similar senses in humor (online humor anyway), and they were in sync on the twitter game. It took him a while to initiate anything more than just liking statuses or retweeting, until finally he decided to go for it and message her directly. But by then, it was too late.

In his words, he almost felt like they had just missed each other, or rather were meant to be star-crossed. This idea of star-crossed is kind of lame, but honestly, it can be described in a lot of situations. But nonetheless, I don’t necessarily think that this is a bad thing. I think this happens for a reason. People come and go from our lives for a reason, no matter how short or how long they were there for. And who’s to say they may not appear again? That’s the uncertainty of life, as confusing as it is, that’s the hand we’re dealt with. As long as you put your best effort into it, that’s all that matters. So here’s my advice to all of you: be bold and don’t be afraid to stick yourself out there. In the end, as long as you tried, that’s all that matters. If it was meant to be, it will be. Que sera, sera.

Listen to Where’s The Chase? every Tuesday from 4-4:30p on 88.9 FM, stream online at www.kuci.org, or get the KUCI app! Stay up to date with the most recent episodes on Soundcloud.

Tune-spiration: Lovefool by The Cardigans